Public goodbyes

I borrowed this post topic from Just Another Snarky Navy Wife because I wanted to blog about my own experiences and opinions on public goodbyes.  She wrote of the local media coverage and having to say goodbye in public.  I have had 3 big deployment goodbyes from Obi-Wan in the 8 years we’ve been married so I’ve been extremely lucky that that number isn’t higher.  The first was a 7 month deployment, then a 3 month deployment 8 months later, and then this year long IA bull (I mean adventure). 

The first goodbye was the hardest b/c I didn’t know how hard it would be and how empty I would feel afterward.  When I dropped him off at the ship in San Diego, I actually went on board with him and spent some time with him before the Captain told the families that it was time for everyone to leave.  Our goodbye was on the deck of the USS Valley Forge in front of hundreds of others.  It was a quick hug with barely whispered words of love.  I held it together all morning as if I were having an outer body experience and was fine until I had to physically pull away from him.  The Niagra Falls effect was about to hit me so I barely got the words “I love you” out before I had to turn and leave.  I couldn’t even look back at him once I walked off the ship b/c it was too much.  I was afraid I would just collapse in front of everyone right on the pier.  How I drove back to my house and managed not to wreck my car, I’ll never know. 

For the 3 month deployment, it was in some ways easier, but in some ways harder.  I wasn’t ready to have him leave again when he had been home less than a year.  I don’t remember our goodbye that time but I’m sure it was quick.  We don’t linger over goodbyes b/c we know that we are barely restraining the emotional buildup that is happening.

When he had to leave for this IA, of course we had a lot of last minute hugs and kisses at the house, but then I had to drive him to the base from where he’d be departing.  It was in front of a brick building with probably 100 other “saildiers” and it was fast.  I felt cold and hollow inside and didn’t want to have a long drawn out goodbye so a quick hug and smooch was all we could muster before I had to leave. 

Now I was more fortunate than other wives where the media is concerned.  Except for his first deployment, the media really wasn’t around.  And even for the first one, there wasn’t a ton of coverage for his particular ship b/c it was a smaller ship in the battle group.  Most of the media was concentrated on the aircraft carrier so we lucked out. 

With the media coverage I have mixed feelings.  On one hand, I’m glad our military is getting recognition for the hard jobs and time away they are about to undertake.  But the reporters when they get in the faces of people saying goodbye or even saying hello after not seeing their family member for months drives me nuts.  It’s like “could you give them a little space … duh?”  The two main places we’ve lived have been large military communities so the media is all over everything if anyone so much as spits.  It’s on the news every night, it’s talked about for days on end and it’s almost too much sometimes.

When a person is saying goodbye to their loved one, the last thing I want to see is some reporter trying to ask what will inevitably be a stupid question during a personal moment.  Some of my favorites are “so, how are you feeling about your husband leaving?” WTF do you think I’m feeling?  Seriously?  God help me or the reporter that ever gets in my face and asks such a stupid question.  I may slap them.  I’d love to see someone sarcastically answer (just for shock value) ”I’m feeling great … in fact, I can’t wait for that SOB to leave.”  I used to get so irritated watching media coverage of deployments b/c of the stupid things they say and ask these families.  It’s like “did you have to hand over your common sense when you became a journalist?” because really, it’s too much!

So, that’s my take on that topic.  Good post Snark!